Who are you? All these faces unfamiliar to me. Memories have fallen away. Who am I? I’ve lost my identity. A shattered mirror displays who I might be today. Watch me as I bleed out. Confined in this prison dressed like a safe house. Losing my sanity and no one wants to help. Bury my head in distress. There is no pill to take to stop this unrest. All the symptoms and signs show I’m not fine. Give me a reason to go on. I am a dying shame, when I’m gone they’ll put up my tombstone with no name. I am no one. I don’t know if I will ever leave. Paranoia is killing me. Bury me alive like a seed. It’s all the same. A life of torment. Life so mundane. This institution is not what it seems. They’ll never understand me and what I’m thinking. Am I asleep or awake? Will someone tell me if this is reality or a dream?
Enslavement to the Substance
I watched you fade. It was a slow decay. From the first hit you were hooked. Eyes rolled back, sinking in, giving up everything to seek that quick escape. She was your first love, and she might just be your last. Vicious cycle. Pump in the poison, flood yourself with guilt and shame, pump in some more to numb the pain. Again and again you chase the feeling. As the venom enters into your veins, it erases who you used to be. Time after time pieces of you fall away. Now you’re just fragments of the one I used to know. Distanced yourself in this downward spiral. Resuscitation. Begging for revival. Unravel the story of a boy who lost his way. Grieve for that day he doesn’t wake. Enslavement to the substance. Enslavement to the substance that kills. Nerve endings growing dim. Color is fleeing from your skin. Stay with me, find some strength within. Shake off the demons and don’t give in.
Silhouette of Grief
Can you see into my eyes? Reveal the hurt I want to hide. Expose the secrets I’ve kept inside. They say your shadow is a harmless thing but I’ve been running from the shadow killing me. My mind has been raped. My innocence was robbed from me. I’m trying to pick up the pieces of what’s left of me. Who is this silhouette of grief? It follows closely. It won’t leave me alone. Seductive grip with a toxic kiss. Cold is the soul that abandoned love for a hoax. I never wanted this. Polluted thoughts that haunt me like a ghost. I’ve given so much of myself away that I have nothing left to give. Filthy hands. Filthy man. Who is this silhouette of grief? Am I too blind to see that it is me? I have become my own worst enemy. Ashamed and bare. Burned images linger since that day. Unaware of the aftermath to come, I was taken. Ripped of all virtue, the cold shiver of feeling naked, stripped of fidelity I kneeled in sorrow. Mother weeps while my father screams at my brother for using. Fragile mind of a child trying to cope. Absence of intimacy, they became objects at my disposal. Subhuman morals seem vital but the pleasure only stays for a while until I sink into a depressed state. What will I amount to if this continues? Smiles turn to rage. I would give anything to go back to the days of purity. I’m still trying to pick up the pieces of what’s left of me. Can I ever be made whole again? Is there something more left for me? Filthy hands on a filthy man, longing to be clean.
Apathy | Nothing
Wounds never seem to heal. Stitches have come undone. Can’t bare the pain you feel. Don’t know if you can go on. Frustration. Contemplation. Dread down to the marrow of your bones, left drowning in a sea of desperation. Hide the hurt deep inside so no one can see. Tormenting silence eats you alive but you refuse to speak. We always want to be strong, but there’s strength in feeling weak. You’re never too lost to be found. Don’t give up now. Pull through before you hit the ground. Apathy. Nothing. Ready to die. No more fear. You want to close your eyes and disappear. Haunted by the things people say and things that you’ve done. Can’t see your value. You are losing all hope. Don’t let regret swallow you whole. Your hands are shaking. Seconds from breaking. You’re never too lost to be found. Don’t give up now. Pull through before you hit the ground.
Pride defiles the heart. Arrogance is a role in which you fit the part. You are your only concern. If you had it your way, you’d sit back and watch the whole world burn. Burn away with no ounce of remorse. Claim innocence. Blind ignorance. No regard for another man. Quick to cut them down as fast as you can. Worship yourself above all else. You will fall with nothing left. If actions speak louder than words, then you’ve gained the disrespect you deserve.
Blank stares, subtle scars on the faces of the people in a comatose state. They are the nameless. Cold skin, cold blood from a cold world. Hiding away all their grimace. They feed off life to cure their sickness. They don’t know that they are already dead. Pulling me under, whispering lies to make me forget, forget my name. The infection is spreading, the reaper is calling, my world is ending. The eyes of emptiness devoured; my eyes fixed. A skeptic with new sight to see that the pale horse exists. Forcing death’s sting on me. Weight of all retribution. Forcing death’s sting on me. Will I suffer damnation? I will never forget my name. They won’t stop but I won’t bow. I won’t be their follower.
…and Gnashing of Teeth
My eyes bleed from the things I see. Millions standing in line, waiting to burn, never to be released from the place of suffering. Lashes upon lashes, limb after limb, there is no rest. I used to cling to life, but now I am wishing for death. Endless pain in the devil’s domain. How do I get out? How do I escape? The harder I try the further I sink. There is nowhere to go, nowhere to hide. Dread fills the air. I’m choking, inhaling smoke and ashes. This is torture on repeat, weeping and gnashing of teeth, ready to wake from the nightmare but this has become my bane. Endless pain in the devil’s domain. Who will wipe the tears from my eyes? From the depths I call out your name. I hear no return. The sound of separation. If I had listened to the warnings, chased after you with everything in me, if I just had one more chance…I can’t shake this vision of hell, cause every time I imagine the place of suffering, I see myself. God, save me from myself.
There was a thief on a tree. His name was me. Life slipping away, harder and harder to breathe. As his eyes close to let go, he wonders how he got there. “What went wrong? Will I die here all alone?” His dreams were always suppressed by reality. Forced to live by taking just to make ends meet. Abandoned by the world. Fixated on survival, everyone was an enemy, but he’ll soon find out that the end doesn’t always justify the means. What will it take for him to see that the path he treads is a path to destruction? “No one can save me.” As my eyes close to sleep, I happen to gaze upon the man hanging next to me. A man torn apart, a man betrayed, a man who came to save us from our dismay. King of kings, remember me. Don’t let me die here all alone. The King of kings remembered me.
Get away. Run away. Don’t listen to a single word they say. Rid your mind of everything you’ve been fed. Close off all the false images you’ve seen. At the end of the day, what will you believe? The fear drives your inability. Your inability keeps you still. Disguised as sheep, the wolves come out to play, and they play to kill. You say you’re safe from the outside. I know you’re dying on the inside. They use fear tactics to prey on the defenseless. How long must I scream these words for you to hear them? Forfeiting your right to free will is a dangerous game. You will never understand freedom until you realize you’ve been living in chains. They use fear. Break free. Think for yourself. Break free.
The fall of man. We have failed. One step forward, two steps back. Will we ever push for progression? As I sit here and watch the world wither away, I write this critique of the human condition: No more holy wars and genocide. Killing each other is killing ourselves. Humankind suicide. Equip our youth with acceptance, knowledge, and wisdom to create a world worth living in.
To the Point of Death
Throw me in the fire. You think that I can’t take the pain. Focused are my eyes, I count it all as gain. No compromise. No fearful neglect. I bear all grief for the Prince of Peace to the point of death. Make me a martyr. I’ll die for the world to know His name. The scapegoat of your wrath, I will not hide. You look down on me with weakness. I look up with strength. I knew it from the start that this would be my fate: to be subject to hatred, to be discriminated, to be suffocated by this world. No man can take my constant; my everything. This is my assurance of things hoped for. This is my conviction of things unseen. I am toe to toe with the devil trying to drag me to hell. I spit in the face of his threats. I stand firm to the point of death.
Victim of My Own Hate
Hate dwells in all. Misanthropy is the parasite coursing through my veins. We are the filth of this earth, plagued since birth. I am guilty of seeing red. Constant war between good and evil in my head. This world is filled with men with machine hearts that we have fueled for too long. Empty, selfish, callous is the human existence. Turning a blind eye, it comes full circle. I look to the sky to blame, but we are the reason why. Consequence for our negligence. Can I change my ways before it’s too late? I’ve become a victim of my own hate. We are victims of our own hate. Can you taste the failure on our lips? With the final beat of a steel heart, it’s a shame we can’t admit the bitter truth of who we are. When it’s all said and done and we’ve lost all control, destroy the machine that has left us hollow.